In the spirit of...Keepin' It Real

         

Gosh, it feels like I fell off the face of the earth and climbed back up! So, yesterday, we finally got Internet!  Woo Hoo!  And, because we're only human and we are facing a good 6 months of wintry weather, we also got CABLE!  Woo Hoo!  A splurge for the ol' Post Retirement Budget, but we will make other sacrifices to compensate.  Because we both agreed that although there are many and varied wonderful (and free!) things to do here in our beautiful new home state of Maine, those options do narrow down when it's Zero Degrees Outside.  And you have thin Texas blood that will take some time to get hearty.

So...I'll bet you're wondering...what on earth has been happening the past few weeks?  Or maybe you're not, but since this is my blog...ha ha...you're going to find out!  If you keep reading that is.  Oh yeah, the Keepin' It Real.  Well, it turns out that moving cross country 2200 miles, leaving behind friends and family, and basically signing up for a whole new way of life...well, it's kind of stressful!  Who knew?!  And apparently I can only take SO.MUCH.STRESS.  And then I start having panic attacks.  Which is what happened to me the day we closed on our house.  And continued over the next three days.  These were not fun times, folks.  I would wake up at 3 in the morning, my heart racing, nauseous, crying.  Questioning if we'd done the right thing.  Wondering how we could have been so crazy to give up our *safe* life we had known for so long.  I started panicking that something bad would happen to Tom, that the heating furnace was going to blow up, that we'd be forgotten by our friends and family, that I would never be able to survive a winter here, that all of the naysayers were right and that we had just made the biggest mistake of our lives. 
Now let me add, my sweet husband had none of these worries or doubts.  He was solid as a rock, and I know God worked through him to help me finally find my peace again.  Three days after we closed on the house was Sunday.  We went to mass at the beautiful old church downtown.  As soon as we walked in, I was flooded with a peaceful joy.  I prayed.  And God answered my prayer. And at the end of that mass, I knew that even though we will miss our family terribly, and will be angling for them to come visit every chance we get, Tom & I are exactly where we are supposed be.  This is our home now.  And I am so very grateful that God is allowing us to have this adventure! 

Here is the view from my living room window.
I still have the occasional panic attack, but I did some research and read that they are often triggered when you have an informational overload.  So I'm trying to recognize when that happens, and change what I'm doing to get in a more peaceful place.  If I'm home, I'll make us a cup of tea and we go take a break on the front porch and look out at the river.  And take in the beauty. 
I cannot say enough good things about this community where we've chosen to live.  I honestly didn't think anything like this still existed in the United States!  American flags line the main street.  The people are so open and friendly and laid back.  And everyone has been so welcoming!  The day after we moved in, our new neighbors dropped by and gave us a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers from their garden to welcome us to our new street.

God has shown me so much grace...in the kindness of strangers, the patience of my sweet husband, the wise council of my precious family and of new friends here who have told me to not panic, take a deep breath, and enjoy the beauty of this place and the seasons to come.  I realize now that if I stayed in what I perceived was a *safe* place, I would not have been truly living, but would only be passing time.  There is a definite nip in the air at night now and the tops of the trees are beginning to change color.  And I can't wait to see what God has in store...